I've got two. I'll be driving through Denver in about a month. I could drop them off.
Somebody will have to distract my wife.
This is Scooter. He's 12 or 13. We got him as a puppy. He's covered in moles. He eats his own poop. He has lost most of his teeth. He is starting to lose his mind, he barks at us when we come home, he barks at 4:00am because he's hungry, he barks at imaginary things at the front door. He sits in your spot when you go to the kitchen. He has this weird OCD trait where he has to lick everything. His paws, the couch, you. Nothing more exciting than putting your hand on a spot on the couch that's sopping wet with dog drool.
This is Winnie. She's going to be 8 in a couple months. Her nose is getting pretty gray, this photo is a few years old. She will get along with your neighbors on one side, but bark her head off at the neighbors on the other side. She gets along with one set of dogs behind you, but again, barks her head off at the other set of dogs. She will bark at animals at 11:00 at night, and 5:00 in the morning. Your neighbors will hate you. She will also take up about 2/3 of the couch when she stretches out. And then look all offended when you ask her to move. In the fall, she will gladly walk through every burr producing weed in your back yard and transfer those burrs to your couch. She has to go outside so she can demand to be let back inside, at least 20 times a day. In. Out. In. Out. Repeat.
Did I mention they both have stinky, eye watering farts?