[LWJ]

Well. My parents and brother (undiagnosed but pretty damn certain) are on the spectrum. My eldest child, my niece are clearly diagnosed. My youngest has some tendencies as do many others in my surrounding family. So there are lots of awkward pauses when talking with my family members.

Some are super high performing. Some are handicapped in a significant way.

My eldest is a great example of a success. Diagnosed just after 8th grade. Clearly a different child from the get go. My kid has pretty severe OCD and nasty anxiety, so they really struggle with things most people do easily. Like eat. My kid is possibly below 100 lbs now at age 26. The least they have weighed since age 12 maybe? But, they have their own apartment. They are happy. They have a great online social life and visit in person with friends a couple of times a year. They have some pet rats that are the absolute center of their existence and give them purpose.

Of my three children, my eldest (spectrum) child is most equipped for me to check out of Planet Earth. They are mostly happy, somewhat healthy. And are self sufficient.

My advice: Find things that are not difficult for your grandchild. My kid does tons of really weird stuff. Why? Mostly anxiety avoidance. When I learned this, it was easier to understand and occasionally accomodate them. Example: germ-phobia. They open cabinets with their feet to keep hands "clean."

Good luck. There seem to be many more spectrum-y people around now.