[techweenie]

Pretty easy stuff...

OFFICIAL 2004 REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION PROGRAM

6:00pm- Opening illegal alien burning ceremony.
6:30pm- Pro-war rally no. 1 featuring the draft dodger men's chorus.
6:40pm- Video of sexual humiliation of detainees #1
7:00pm- Tribute to God.
7:10pm- Collect offerings for Halliburton.
7:20pm- Ken Lay testimonial.
7:25pm- Tribute to God #2.
7:45pm- Pro-war rally no. 2. (guest host, "B1" Bob Dornan)
8:00pm- GW Bush presents God's side of the issues
8:25pm- Rush Limbaugh's oxycontin buffet.
8:30pm- Why the national debt means nothing by Arthur Laffer.
9:00pm- Hymn, "God Hates Fags" by Westboro Baptist choir.
9:30pm- * Intermission * (medications courtesy of Rush Limbaugh)
10:00pm- Flag worshipping and wrapping ceremony
10:15pm- Re-enactment of favorite torture techniques using indigent non-combatants selected at random off the street.
10:30pm- Video appearance by the late Wally George
10:40pm- Tribute to the wit and wisdom of Ronald Reagan.
10:41pm- Pledge of allegiance to the Christian (but not Catholic) God.
11:00pm- Speech: Execute the Liberals by Ann Coulter.
11:15pm- Promisebreaker's workshop.
11:20pm- GW Bush presents his plans for the economic recovery
11:21pm- 'Register unborn voters' pep rally.
11:59pm- Rush Limbaugh's last call for oxycontin.
12:00am - Nomination of Republican candidate.