[Overpaid Slacker]

I don't want to unduly malign female counselors (but I will duly malign them, if the situation warrants, until the sun burns out). However, one element of having a dominant (or "strong", I'm not fluent in psychobabble) personality is frequently being told "... you just have to understand..."

As in, "JP, you just have to understand that women 'aren't X' or 'don't think like Y' or are more emotional or don't necessarily need someone to recommend solutions to their problems but just to listen" blahblahblah. After enough of this, it occured to me that I was the only one - of the two in the relationship - being told that I had to understand -- and therefore accommodate and change. One Way Street; the chyck is right and perfect and an angel for being tolerant enough to put up with you in your current unrefined state in the hopes that you will metamorphose into what SHE needs.

My concern with a female therapist (or counselor or whatever) is that you're likelier to get the "you must understand HER and accept/change for/indulge HER" w/o the reciprocity. The key to making the relationship work is therefore caving in, sacrificing your identity and indulging your girlfriend's phobias. Some guys like that; fine. It's a recipe for diaster when I'm a participant.

JP