[RickM]

I went to a counselor after a couple years of marriage. She happened to be female. My wife met with her initially and that was the death blow. I went twice and was obviously the lesser of the two sexes. I refused to continue. However, as negative as that experience was, it did open up the lines of communication where we worked things out on our own.

You get out of this process what you put in. If you're going in with separate agendas that's what you'll most likely leave with.

I have seen many couples where the woman is like this and the guy is happy. Why? Because they interpret this behavior as “attention”. For some it's a continuation of being with an overbearing mommy....something they're used to and comfortable with. Just don't ask them to go out for a beer, as you'll be disappointed.

Personally, I couldn't handle this behavior. Some inquiry is tolerable and probably healthy but a total lack of trust is an indication of very deep-seated issues.

Until this is resolved I'd not commit to a life together.

BTW, is she insecure in other facets of her life?