Quote:
Originally posted by smoak
She is insecure about her career right now but is changing careers to change that aspect. Other than that she really is the most level headed non-emotional woman I have ever been in a relationship with. This whole thing hit me out of left field. She tells me, I have just always had this feeling with you, I just didn't know what to do about it. She says, you have all the appearances that show you wouldn't cheat, lie etc. But, its like its too good to be true. She thinks I am shady somehow. Really, this is crazy I know. I just want to get past this and move on with her. We have lived together for over 2 years, she is honest, loyal and trustworthy to the nth degree AND SO AM I. She has some deep stuff about not growing up with a father, being in aweful relationship after aweful relationship and I hope and pray those things can be worked out by the old brain mechanic. I just don't want to be left behind in the process. Anyway, as I said, she is worth the extra effort and I just have to hunker down I guess and take it.
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sorry...wrong attitude imho. You can't "hunker down and take it"...you have to want to do it and see some potential value. As for the comment about the insecurity in career and her changing careers....beware what AA calls "taking a geographical." It is VERY common for people who aren't happy inside (for whatever reason) to look towards some external change to magically fix things. "Gee, if I just move out of this town...", "man, I just need to get a different job...", etc. That isn't to say that sometimes those are real issues, but you have to pay very close attention and try to figure out what's driving those thoughts. And generally you can't do that unless you've spent some "years on the couch" (as Kevin so eloquently put it).
She sounds like she has some classic psychological issues. And if you want to stick around, you need to not only work with her to sort them out, but YOU need to sort YOURSELF out to help understand how to deal with her...and maybe figure out why you ended up with her.
Its kinda like buying your first p-car. Invariably people after a year or two say, "man, if I had it to do over again I'd look for x, y, and z". Well, that's what people end up doing in a marraige...they get married, then come to realize that they picked the wrong person. Or that they themselves are the wrong person. So most just bail and get divorced (and sometimes that is the best solution). But others figure that there is enough there to try and salvage, so they fix the rust damage, add flares, put on bigger sway bars, etc to try and make the relationship work. And if they are smart they also go on a diet themselves to increase their hp/wt ratio and get more seat time. It isn't just about the car (your wife), it is about the driver (you), and the relationship and "fit" between the two.
gee, all metaphorical and shiite...