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my best friend's father died from throat cancer. I watched him wither away for about six months. (lived in the house next door and looked after him a lot when my friend needed to go to work) the worst thing for us was having to put him into the cabulance that took him to the hospice, as we all knew that he would not be coming back. we visited every day and sat in vigil for weeks. one day I decided that I simply couldn't take it any more and needed a break, so I didn't visit. that was the day that fate chose him to die. it left me feeling very selfish to not have been there for him. my friend told me it was his father's way of sparing me the pain. I took it to heart, but it still stays with me to this day
my heart goes out to both of you
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