[joeclarke]

Pilot comes on to make the usual small talk to the passengers upon attaining cruise altitude...

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking - we will be cruising at 31 thousand feet under way in a little over 3 hours to Chicago. We are expecting smooth conditions, so sit back and enjoy your flight..."

Unfortunately the good pilot neglected to disengage the PA as he turned to his right chair with the following remark...

"well, I got that BS overwith; now I think I'll go take a dump and then screw that new red-headed stewardess in coach."

The"new red-headed stewardess in coach", hearing the pilot's remarks (along with all of the passengers) started to rush toward the cockpit. Whether she was bound and determined to kick the crap outta the guy or just to tell him to turn off the PA, we'll never know...

Half way through her coach compartment dash she tripped over a passenger's foot and landed flat on the floor in the aisle. From her prone position she glanced up at an elderly lady in the passenger seat next to her and received this advice:

"there's no need to rush dear, the captain said he was going to take a dump first."

The foregoing story does not even pretend to preamble about the suburbs of veracity...