[CJFusco]

Found this somewhere. It is great.

YOU ARE WHAT YOU DRIVE

Acura Integra: I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars

Acura Legend: I’m too bland for German cars

Acura NSX: I’m an impotent dentist

Audi TT: What is the newest trend?

Aston Martin: I’m not stuck up, I’m just not interested in talking to people that have no money

BMW Z3: Hopefully someone will think it’s a Porsche

BMW 318: Hopefully someone will think I’m rich

BMW 540: I drive like Andretti when my family isn’t in the car

Buick Park Avenue: I’m older than 34 of the 50 states

Cadillac Eldorado: I was a Mary Kay salesman

Cadillac Seville: I'm a pimp

Chevrolet Camaro: I'm out on parole

Chevrolet Corvette: I'm in mid-life crisis

Dodge Dart: I teach third grade and I voted for Eisenhower

Dodge Viper: Ex-hick with money and a very small penis

Ferrari 355: I have an extremely small penis

Ford Mustang: I slow down to 80mph in school zones

Ford Crown Victoria: I enjoy looking like a traffic cop, I get people to slow down

Ford Taurus: I like driving rental/company cars

Geo Storm: I'm in the 11th grade

Geo Tracker: I'm in the 12th grade

Honda Civic: I just graduated and have no credit and a bad driving record

Honda Civic SI: Stickers make me go faster

Honda CRX: I just graduated and have no credit and a bad driving record and I have no money

Honda DelSol: I firmly believe that the more money I put into it, the faster it goes - even in a chick car

Honda Accord: I have no originality

Honda S2000: The riceboy grew up and got a job

Infiniti Q45: I’m a physician with too many malpractice suits pending against me to afford a Mercedes

Jaguar XJ6: I’m so rich I don¡¦t give a damn what JD Powers says

Jaguar XK8: I’m okay with a penis-shaped car

Kia Sephia: I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu

Lamborghini Countach: Appearances are everything

Lamborghini Diablo: I will cry if I’m not the best at everything

Lincoln Town Car: I live for bingo

Lotus Esprit: I have a small penis AND I’m too good for those mainstream Ferraris

Mercedes SLK: As long as I LOOK fast and rich…

Mercedes 500SL: Don’t even think of asking me for an autograph

Mercury Cougar: It’s not rice if it’s American, right?

Mazda Miata: I have no fear of being decapitated by an 18-wheeler

MGB: I have a big garage and lots of tools

Nissan 300ZX: I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well

Nissan Maxima: Looks aren’t everything

Nissan Altima: I just want to blend in

Olds Cutlass: I just stole this car

Plymouth Neon: I've got 800 watts. Top that Honda dudes.

Pontiac Fiero: I have no fear of death

Pontiac Trans Am: I have a switchblade in my sock

Porsche 911: I’m way too good for any car that is conventional in any way

Porsche 914: Good cars don’t need to look good

Porsche 924: I’m gullible enough to think that if it has a Porsche badge, it must be fast

Porsche 928: I’m a drug dealer

Porsche 944: I can’t afford to pay my taxes, but I’m too good for everything except a Porsche

Porsche Boxster: My divorce is almost final

Saturn SC2: Look, my dad bought me a sports car

Toyota Camry: I am still in the closet

Toyota MR2 Spyder: I try to lay college freshmen who think it’s a Boxster

Volkswagen New Beetle: I used to be a hippie, now I’m a Regan-era yuppie

Volkswagen Cabriolet: I am out of the closet

Volkswagen Golf GTI: I hate riceboys, but that doesn’t stop me from being just like them

Volkswagen Bus: I am tripping right now

Volvo 740 Wagon: I’m afraid of my wife