101. No need to unzip in the toilet.
102. I can’t wear shorts to work… can’t stop a man in a kilt.
103. Because I like being fondled by beautiful women I don't know when I wear a kilt on stage.
104. Because women have no control when faced with a kilt.
105. If going trouserless is good enough for Sean Connery, Mel Gibson, Russell Crowe, Adrian Paul and every single member of the FDNY pipers (just as an example), it's good enough for me.
106. Fornication.
107. Diarrhea.
108. When some one says, "I didn't know Scots wear denim," you can reply, "They do, but usually as blue jeans."
109. Why is it calleded a "kilt"? Cause we done kilt everyone who called it a skirt.
110. Uncrossing my legs (Sharon Stone, Basic Instinct) for the sexy woman opposite on the subway.
111. Automatic ******* Detection System: Anyone who snickers and says "nice skirt" is obviously a homophobe or just plain stodgy...
112. My wife loves it when I wear my Utilikilt. Plus I carry a lot of stuff on my days out and the Workmans kilt does it all!
113. Feeling the breeze...as the women lift your kilt to have a look.
114. Bald (we don't have folically challenged men in Scotland, or political correctness) bikers - feel the wind in your hair again.
115. Scotsmen gave the world the television, telephone, radar, penicilin and wedding parties that last all night. Wearing kilts leaves our testicles free, relieves stress and lets us invent all these things.
116. Kilts show the men who act like they are a man, who really is the Man.
117. Easier to kick the H*ell outta someone in a bar fight.
118. More leg room to gain speed when running from cops.
119. Reply to question of WHY you're wearing a UK, " Just so I can show you
the REAL Loch Ness Monster!!"
120. Because Lazarus Long was right about everything else...
121. Pants were forced upon my people by the Roman oppressor. They're just a plot from the Man, trying to keep Celty down! To paraphrase Morpheus, "Free your thighs!"
122. A MAN IN A KILT IS A MAN AND A HALF!!!
123. It's a chick-magnet - beware random acts of groping.
124. So the best things in life can remain free!
125. If someone asks "How are you feeling today". You can respond "Very regimental, thank you".
126. Have you ever tried to conceal an erection in a pair of Khaki dress slacks?
127. Gruntle \Grun"tle\, v. i. to copulate with a woman wearing a skirt.
Full Gruntle \Ful\ \Grun"tle\, v. i. a man wearing a kilt copulating with a
woman wearning a skirt.
128. When obnoxious drunk people ask what's under your kilt. You can tell them "your girlfriend's lipstick."
129. I am a tall broad man, and my kilt is the only piece of clothing I have that truly fits comfortably.
130. Have you ever heard of anyone pissing their kilt?
131. Kilt + Bathroom = Easy.
132. The extra element of suprise, when you have to kick someone in the head.
133. Nothing turns head faster when me, a bald chinese, walks a mall wearing them.
134. Finding pants for a 6'9" man isn't easy. Why not show off those long legs?
135. Cause men look sexy in kilts... Period
136. When your paintball team steps out onto the field in kilts is scares the bejesus out of the other team.
137. The difference between a kilt and slack is like a goldfish in a bowl... they grow to the size of their environment.
138. While in graduate school, one of my genetics professors told of a Scotish
study of scrotal temperatures between kilt and pants wearers. Testicles
are naturally outside the body to keep them cooler to enhance sperm
production, when they don't descend into the scrotum, a man is sterile.
Higher temperatures may also increase the mutation rate in sperm and
the cells that form them. So, biologically, a kilt is healthier for our
species. Note that all or most other mamalian species also have
external testicles. (Disclaimer- Yes, we know, dolphins, whales, and possibly a few other mammals don't have external testicals. This is one of the reasons we have not produced a "Flipper" model of Utilikilt.)
139. All I have to say is blue ribbon, u know the story from there.
140. In business / professional situations where shorts are not appropriate I can get away with wearing a kilt because A) People think that it may me a cultural thing. or B) They think that I am so confident in my profession I can do what ever I want. People remember me and if they have a problem with my kilt then they are up tight paranoids and I don't want to deal with them anyway. Lastly, my Wife likes it and daughter thinks its cool.
141. Pants wear all the hair off your legs, and that's nancy.
142. There is something so maseculine, strong, brave, wild, and...well...completely...umm...doable about a man in an UK...wow I need a cold shower.
143. The woman I was talking to at a party the other night who looked me straight
in the eye and very slowly (perhaps to see if I would object) lifted up my
kilt, looked down, smiled at me, and said, "Good boy."
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