[Superman]

Vash, our generation does handle parenting differently. We're not as distant as our parents were from us. Today's kids relate well to our generation. They wear our old clothes, listen to our music, use our drugs (did I say that?).

I'd agree that a father should be in control, should be prepared to 'deal with' any issue (hopefully not the BCP issue), and should be decisive and everyone should understand that he has full authority. But that iron hand should be covered with a velvet glove. It's a tough balance to strike. When asking questions, be EXTREMELY calm and supportive. Make it completely obvious that you're not looking to fix blame, but rather just looking to understand all the angles of the problem. Ask, ask, ask, ask. With a gentle and empathetic voice and manner.

Negative conditioning rarely works. I got plenty of spankings as a kid, but I'm now thinking they have very limited actual value. Behavior modification is mostly a positive thing, when done effectively.

But also, don't let them get away with not telling you stuff. Pry. Get in their face. Whatever it takes. Just be sure they accept the fact that their business is your business. Don't try to be their friend, and don't let the wifey do that either. They'll like you and respect you much more if you play the role they need played...parent. They'll fight and evade and kick and scratch, it's their job, and eventually they will push themselves away from you, that's their job too. Your job at the end is to provide them a nice solid surface to push off from. Earlier than that, it's your job to get their surrender, and partner with them on important decisions. Like I say, a delicate balance. Toughest job you'll ever have. Also the funnest, most rewarding, most engrossing, etc.

And if you strike just the right balance, you'll get your wish. You'll teach your children how to be good men and good women. And ultimately, they will be immensely appreciative. In the meantime, in the teens, particularly the girls, it will be sort of like four-wheeling in a 930 that's got 23/33mm torsion bars.