Hey There-
Let me add myself to the list.
I;ve been there- actually just clawed my way out this past Spring. I never understood the mind/body connection could be so powerful. I was having all kinds of bad things happening. It seems so crazy to summarize what was a living hell into such a short time. What took me so long to diagnose it was that I am not a depressed person, in the sense that I am not down on myself or scared of social situations. What it really came from was not dealing with deaths and life challenges in a healthy way. I didn't see it coming.
1) It is true that medications work differently for eveyone. You may need to try a few to get it right. I started on Prozac (Fluoxitine) and Ativan. Prozac made me feel cranked out of my mind, uppers are bad for me. Switched that to Celexa. That supposedly makes some people tired, but for me its perfect, cause I was usually keyed up anyhow. Also, switched from Ativan to Clonopin. I HIGHLY recommend this for anxiety. It, like others have stated, is a much slower, consistent drug. Take it each night at bedtime, and you avoid the roller coaster feeling. I am weaning off of it right now, and it hasn't been too hard.
2) Meds are not magic. They help put you at ease, but this is only to help you deal with your demons. You will not get better without wanting to. Many people fail here. The drug is only a step towards health, you have to work at it. A good therapist seems like a waste of money until it starts working. Others have suggested books, also a good idea. Do EVERYTHING you can to get better.
3) All SSRI meds are slow acting. You won't get any relief for about 2 weeks, its slow. Just take them consistently, same time daily. And don't feel bad for taking meds. I was a very anti-drug guy. "Pride" is a silly reason to stop taking meds. Imagine a diabetic stopping his insulin. Its just as crucial for you to not stop your meds (unless your doc says to of course). Also, side effects do wear off over time. My parts felt funny for about a month, but then it was all good again. Worth the wait.
4) I started going for 30-45 minute walks every afternoon before dinner. Try this. You're not gonna want to throw yourself into some kind of crazy regimen. Walking is fun. It makes you take deep, cleansing breaths. You can think when you want to, and then concentrate on walking and breathing when you feel overwhelmed. If you feel stressed, put on your shoes and just start by walking around the block. You'll feel better.
The fact that you want to get better and are beginning to understand means that you will get better. When I sought help in May, I had no job, no prospects, I stayed inside all day, my car didn't work, and I was distant with friends and relatives. I didn't even have an appetite. Now I have a good job, I am close to everyone again, I feel good, and my car works
. Seriously, on occasion I still will feel a bit anxious, but its in a more normal way, not that horrible feeling you have right now.
You ARE sick. The good news is you'll get better if you do the right things. I wish this conversation happened long ago, it took me almost a year to understand why my heart was racing, I couldn't sleep, and I couldn't really accomplish anything. Feel free to PM me anytime if you have a question, I'll try to give you what I can. You're on the right track. Keep us updated.
EDIT- one more thing- be patient. You don't wake up one day fine. It just gets slightly better each day. Its a journey that I think has made me better equipped for the future.