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Philip and 84Porsche,
My sister-in-law did the Blockbuster rent-a-traffic school-video program a few years ago. Not sure this is the current setup, but as she explains it; the video kit comes in a case with a built-in phone line modem. This allows them (whoever they are, but probably not the freshly scrubbed kid at the video store) to monitor your presence while you watch the video in the comfort of your house. At certain intervals, the mysterious proctor calls and asks questions like, "What was the color of the announcer's shirt?" or "What color was the passenger's tie in the car crash in the last scene?" and stuff like that. I think it's an 8 hours (yawn) course. However, it's in your house so creature comforts are a plus. I wonder how "Signal Red", the famous car crash aftermath lesson movie would look on a wide screen plasma screen and in hi-fi?
As enjoyable as that may seem, I don't think it compares to the sense of hopelessness one feels being stuck in one of those "All Laf Comedy Traffic Schools" for 8 hours. If you're extremely lucky, you might get a teacher who is a bonafide working comedian (meaning he gets intentional laughs for pay). Who knows? In his early days, Eddie Murphy might have sharpened his chops at All Laf.
Most likely, your leader for the day is a retired state civil engineer or bookish accountant launching into a new career as a "comedy instructor". I had the former in my last lawless episode a couple of years ago. Anyway, the class started at 8:30 am on a Saturday. After what seemed like several hours of reviewing the contents of the vehicle code handbook, I looked at my watch to see how many hours I had wasted of my life, it was 9:30 am. Swell. 7 more hours.
Here's an example of one of his many attempts at eliciting audience discussion. "Ok class, quick - how many cars are on the road at any given time in California?". I stared incredulously (mainly to myself) for a full 5 seconds. I'm thinking to myself that maybe an expert panel consisting of Lee Iacocca, Henry Ford Sr., the head of CalTrans and Dionne Warwick might have answered this question correctly. No one in class had any idea. I assumed that since no one asked nor did anyone as much as blink. We surrendered. He knew the number. Oh, really? It went like this most of the day, only broken up by the occasional 15 minute break for reality.
In their defense, these guys (I'm sure there are female counterparts too) have a good audience for their routine don't they? Hostile audience. 8 hours. Can't leave. Good OJT and apparently a good partnership for DMV and the Comedian's union.
In a way, it worked. I haven't exposed myself to being sent to traffic school since then. I even sent my facilitator a Christmas card to show how much I appreciated the certificate of completion at All Laf Comedy Traffic School (54 locations). BTW, I sped home after the class.
Guys, best wishes.
Sherwood
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