All good points. FWIW I have had more than one "moment of adrenaline" and have never forgotten to rack one home
I would second the 12 guage, I prefer pump, but auto is great too. Second, load medium buck/slug/medium buck/slug........... even your wife can't miss in a home environment with the buckshot, then slug em into the next room with #2
Go as short as legal with the barrel and pistol grip if allowed.
This is what I have gleaned from "experts" over the years.