[RoninLB]

for those who enjoy ranting, like Buchanan, this one is pretty good. Although it's from a New Yorker it's not me.



"Fock the South. Fock 'em. We should have let them go when they wanted to leave. But no, we had to kill half a million people so they'd stay part of our special Union. Fighting for the right to keep slaves - yeah, those are states we want to keep.

And now what do we get? We're the focking Arrogant Northeast Liberal Elite? How about this for arrogant: the South is the Real America? The Authentic America. Really?

Cause we focking founded this country, *******s. Those Founding Fathers you keep going on and on about? All that bullshet about what you think they meant by the Second Amendment giving you the right to keep your assault weapons in the glove compartment because you didn't bother to read the first half of the focking sentence? Who do you think those wig-wearing lacy-shirt sporting revolutionaries were? They were focking blue-staters, dickhead. Boston? Philadelphia? New York? Hello? Think there might be a reason all the focking monuments are up here in our backyard?

No, No. Get the fock out. We're not letting you visit the Liberty Bell and focking Plymouth Rock anymore until you get over your real American selves and start respecting those other nine amendments. Who do you think those focking stripes on the flag are for? Nine are for focking blue states. And it would be 10 if those Vermonters had gotten their focking Subarus together and broken off from New York a little earlier. Get it? We started this ****, so don't get all uppity about how real you are you Johnny-come-lately "Oooooh I've been a state for almost a hundred years" dickheads. Fock off.

Arrogant? You wanna talk about us Northeasterners being focking arrogant? What's more American than arrogance? Hmmm? Maybe horsies? I don't think so. Arrogance is the focking cornerstone of what it means to be American. And I wouldn't be so focking arrogant if I wasn't paying for your focking bridges, *****.

All those Federal taxes you love to hate? It all comes from us and goes to you, so shut up and enjoy your focking Tennessee Valley Authority electricity and your fancy highways that we paid for. And the next time Florida gets hit by a hurricane you can come crying to us if you want to, but you're the ones who built on a focking swamp. "Let the Spanish keep it, it’s a shethole," we said, but you had to have your focking orange juice.

The next dickwad who says, "It’s your money, not the government's money" is gonna get their ass kicked. Nine of the ten states that get the most federal focking dollars and pay the least... can you guess? Go on, guess. That’s right, motherfocker, they're red states. And eight of the ten states that receive the least and pay the most? It’s too easy, *******, they’re blue states. It’s not your money, *******s, it’s focking our money. What was that Real American Value you were spouting a minute ago? Self reliance? Try this for self reliance: buy your own focking stop signs, *******s.

Let’s talk about those values for a focking minute. You and your Southern values can bite my ass because the blue states got the values over you focking Real Americans every day of the goddamn week. Which state do you think has the lowest divorce rate you marriage-hyping dickwads? Well? Can you guess? It’s focking Massachusetts, the focking center of the gay marriage universe. Yes, that’s right, the state you love to tie around the neck of anyone to the left of Strom Thurmond has the lowest divorce rate in the focking nation. Think that’s just some aberration? How about this: 9 of the 10 lowest divorce rates are focking blue states, *******, and most are in the Northeast, where our values suck so bad. And where are the highest divorce rates? Care to focking guess? 10 of the top 10 are focking red-ass we're-so-focking-moral states. And while Nevada is the worst, the Bible Belt is doing its focking part.

But two guys making out is going to focking ruin marriage for you? Yeah? Seems like you're ruining it pretty well on your own, you little bastards. Oh, but that's ok because you go to church, right? I mean you do, right? Cause we focking get to hear about it every goddamn year at election time. Yes, we're fascinated by how you get up every Sunday morning and sing, and then you're focking towers of moral superiority. Yeah, that's a workable formula. Maybe us focking Northerners don't talk about religion as much as you because we're not so busy sinning, hmmm? Ever think of that, you self-righteous *******s? No, you're too busy erecting giant stone tablets of the Ten Commandments in buildings paid for by the focking Northeast Liberal Elite. And who has the highest murder rates in the nation? It ain't us up here in the North, *******s.

Well this gravy train is focking over. Take your liberal-bashing, federal-tax-leaching, confederate-flag-waving, holier-than-thou, hypocritical bullshiit and shove it up your ass.

And no, you can't have your focking convention in New York next time. Fuuckk off."