[kach22i]

This just in:

LAURA BUSH RESIGNS AS FIRST WIFE
Bush to name Condoleeza Rice as new First Wife;
White House spokesman expects easy confirmation in the Senate


November 18, 2004. Washington. The Bush Administration announced today that yet another member of Team Bush will be leaving the White House. Today, Laura Bush announced her resignation as First Wife. She said she would stay on until a replacement was confirmed. It is expected that President Bush will nominate Condoleeza Rice, currently head of the National Security Council. The Senate, dominated by the GOP, is expected to quickly support the Rice as First Wife.

"During the last four years I've relied on her counsel, benefited from her great experience, and appreciated her sound and steady judgment. And now I'm honored that she has agreed to serve as my wife," the President said in announcing her nomination.

"Both Condi and I have been proud to serve with our friend, Laura, who has been one of the most effective First Wives ever," President Bush said.

Speculation that Rice would replace Laura Bush began last Spring at a dinner hosted by New York Times Washington Bureau chief Philip Taubman and his wife. Rice reportedly started to say "As I was telling my husb..." then quickly corrected herself and finished "telling President Bush."

"Laura wasn't always on script," said the unnamed White House source. "She supported abortion, education and women's rights. Those liberal ideas will not be welcome in a second Bush administration."

Democrats vowed to fight the nomination. "She's not the person for the job," said incoming Senate Minority Leader, Harry Reid (D-NV). "She doesn't even have any experience as a wife."