[Simon S]

Meanwhile, thousands of miles away, dozens of chickens swooped down from the sky in a rain of squawking, bloodthirsty terror.

Women screamed and grown men ran for cover while children ate ice cream and looked on in grim amusement.

‘Why are the big people scared?’ wondered the children.. ‘Those chickens are only about 4 feet tall and have eyes that glow red like the minions of hell.’

Toby, the eater of a fine butterscotch ice cream, threw down his cone and squared off with the lead chicken. The lead chicken’s name was Ian, ruler of Voltar.

‘Go back to Voltar foul beast! You have no power here! Take your poor excuse for parakeet friends and get out of here or I'll rip your balls off and wear them for earrings, you funky-walkin, booger-pickin freak of Nature!!!’

This exclamation rather startled the bloodthirsty, dick-tater of Voltar.

While the hesitating, red-eyed minion stood there, Toby whipped out a pump-action sawed-off shot gun and proceeded to unload it’s inventory of ammunition. Toby filled that bird so full of lead that when it was all done, the ruler of Voltar was very heavy.