[Robert Coats]

Guy sits down on the airplane and the other guy is laughing at something.
"What so funny bud?"

"Oh, I just a a Freudian Slip" out there at the gate. You know, Signumd Freud, say what you think, not what you mean?"

"Uhhh, no. What are you talking about?"

"Well, the clerk out there is this really nice blonde with schweet ta-tas. I was staring at them so intently, when she said, "Can I help you?" I replied, "Yes, I'd like a picket to Titsburg please!" Oh, I was so embarasses, but she laughed it off with me."

"Oh, yeah, I understand now. Say, the same thing happend to me today at breakfast. I was flipping through the newspaper, and was going to ask my wife to pass the sugar, but it came out as, "You crazy *****! You ruined my f*cking life!"