Quote:
Originally posted by widebody911
Enlighten me, oh wise one...
This doesn't involve date rape drugs or anything, does it?
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Nah, just a certain amount of shameless indignity.
For several days at work keep to yourself. Act sullen, moody. Withdraw. Be terribly sad and pitiful. Make sure she notices. When you find yourself alone with her, put your head in your hands as if the emotional strain is almost too much to bear. Letting your eyes tear up a little is a great touch, but generally reserved for masters.
When she asks you what is wrong (and she will, she's a woman), tell her that the lost stray kitten you nursed back to health has disappeared and you fear the worst. You can substitute "small bird fallen from nest" or any other warm blooded animal as long as it is cute and helpless.
You are now off the "friends ladder" and find yourself in the exalted and rare category of "sensitive man who is not gay". There is no higher station in the heterosexual marketplace. None.
In a short time she will be posing with your car parts on e-Bay. Guaranteed.