[jshape]

Guy sees and ad in the paper "Talking Dog - $20." So he calls and gets the address. He shows up and tells the woman that answers the door, "I called about the dog.." The woman says, "Yep, he's in the bedroom, go right in."

Sure enough, there in the bedroom is a white dog, lying on the bed watching Oprah on TV. The dog says "Hi, how'ya doin."

Stunned, the guy goes, "Wow, a real talking dog! What's your story?"

The dog rolls over and looks the guy in eyes and says, "Well, I was born in Northern California and was trained as a fire rescue dog, but that got a bit dangerous, so I thought I'd like a change of pace. I moved to France and became a mountain rescue dog, but the mountain climbing in winter was really hard on my paws and I didn't like lugging that brandy around my neck either. In fact, I started nipping on that brandy a bit, so much so that I ended up in a 12-step program. After that, I figured maybe a guide dog for the blind was a bit more my style. Then, after 9-11 happened, I volunteered to work with finding survivors, but since there weren't many, I got really depressed and lost most of my ambition. I've been retired now for almost four years, and mostly watch TV and sleep."

The guy is amazed and tells the dog, "You stay right there!" He runs out to the woman and says, "Here's your $20, I'll take him! He's absolutely amazing, why on earth are you selling him?"

The woman looks at the guy and says, "Because he's a BIG FAT LIAR!!!"