[M.D. Holloway]

Na, she knows you work hard or she wouldn't get on you.

Your wife sounds like a very good and energetic woman. My guess is that she insists, if not demands perfection in certain aspects of her life. She my witness less than stellar efforts in some of her students, but I bet she is the type that wants certain things just so. She saw that in you - not that your perfect but you must have some great qualities that she identifies with. She has some pretty high expectations, chances are you set those expectations years ago by being what she wanted and required from a spouse. She won't let up, infact she may even grow more critical of you as the years wane on. She can becuase she has become exceedingly comfortable with you and can freely open up.

My guess also - she says things to you she would never say to her best friends. She would never think of talking to her girl friends in a "get off your butt old man!" sort of way.

It is rather a paradox - acheiving a true partnership with your spouse also means allowing her to have complete liberty on your feelings. She doen't mean to hurt you or piss you off, she just feels very confortable.

Craig, it doesn't work the other way. Many is the failed man that tries to turn the tables on a woman. They are build different downstairs as well as up.

I'm no one to give advice, but I have/do live what you are experiencing. She comes around a few minutes to a few hours later. One remedy that I use is to plan out a few projects for the weekend - things that she would like you to do and do the same for her. Let her take the leadership role but she may also want you to take the lead as well. Good luck trying to figuer when to do what.