1.) Eye Dropper Glasses
How it Works
I don't know how many precious prescription drops I've wasted by missing my eye when I go to put in drops (although I can guess its around 7). Just think that all 7 of those drops could've been saved had I owned this outrageous contraption. This also prevents the need to have someone assist you when putting in drops, as accuracy is guaranteed everytime!
You know what would be super-neat? Do ya? Huh? Huh? Do ya? Well I do. If they also came with an attachment that allowed you to carry around your bottle of drops wherever you went. Then you drop-on-the-fly - just grab the drops from beside your ear, tilt your head back and let 'er rip!
2.) How it Works
Well, it appears as if this battery-powered cooling assistant is simply strapped to a chopstick and then turned on. No more of that annoying blowing that we all hate to do - now you can waste your breath in other ways like telling your buddy about that one night where you hooked up with the hot blonde triplets.
I have a hard time coming up with alternative uses for this. Perhapy you on those hot summer days you can turn it on "high", jam it up your rectum and never have to worry about a sweaty ass-crack again (now there's a nice image).
3.) Blow Any Time
How it Works
Blow anytime isn't just a convenient produuct for when you have a cold - it's a fashion accessory too! Yes folks, now you too can walk around in public with a toilet paper hat. Wear it to bars and pick up that hotty you've been eyeing for weeks. Wear to work and get that elusive promotion!
Perhaps we could develop other hats similar to this one. How about one with a roll of paper towel so that you're always ready to clean up that surprise spill. Or how about a utility-hat (instead of utility-belt) that would come equipped from everything from a sewing kit to a first aid kit to the bat signal!
4.) Sleep Standing Up
How it Works
Running short on space in your bedroom? Sick of always having to lay down in order to go to sleep? Well why not solve both these problem and install this device in your room today. Not only will it save you space (where you can store all your other ridiculous products) but it will also allow you to stop wasting precious energy laying down and getting up from your bed. Just walk up and strap yourself in. This also doubles as a "death by hanging" device... perfect for when the little ones are acting up
Whoever invented this was either really bored or watched way too much Star Trek (or both) We'd love to hear your ideas for alternative uses or ideas on how this contraption can be upgraded so please feel free to contact us.
5.) Tiki Head Tissue Dispenser
How it Works
Stuck on what to get that special someone for their birthday or an anniversary? Do you have that father who already has everything? Do you have a particular fettish for pulling soft pieces of tissue out of someone else's nose? Well have we got a gift for you. For the person who has everything, ePasture presents the Tiki Head Tissue Dispenser!
That's right folks! For the very low price of $17.99 (money that could go to solving world hunger or curing cancer) you can get yourself, or a loved one, their very own slab of rock. This is perfect for that fidgety person who refuses to take Kleenex™ from the packaging it comes. Another convenient feature is you can hang it on a wall. Why is this a great feature? Because inevitably it will drag its 2-pound ass off the wall at some point and break your flooring! Giggity Giggity.
Randy
Man! Is it ever slow at work right now! 