[M.D. Holloway]

Growing up, I saw my Great Aunt and Grandmother perish by way of the "old timers" illness - they were vibrant women who spent the last 5 to 7 years of their life is lifeless forms. I saw my Mother fade away, loosing all assemblance of life save metabolism. I remeber visiting the ladies with my Mom in the homes, she hated going and seeing them like that, she would always say "thats a heck of a way to finsh it out - make me a promise, if I ever get that sickness, don't put me in one of these homes, thats all I'm saying". Now thats some hardcore ***** to ask for from an 11yr old. She was a very creative and exceptional woman who was proud and strong and wise. She would never ever want someone let alone her family to see her so weak and dying. The lst years of her life was spent in and out of reality. The last thing I ever understood her saying to me was "you promised...".

I know what she wanted but what son could do it? What husband or friend could? I know she didn't want to die that way but according to our culture and society, assisted suicide is tatamount (sp) to murder.

If I know I am going cash it in - the only choice I have to make is to figuer out how long I should drag it out before it is the right time.