[lm6y]

I still have to say that The Downward Spiral is my favorite album. It came out about a month before I found out that my live-in girlfriend was screwing everyone in the county. I was hung up on this girl bad. After the news hit, I was in my own downward spiral. Lots of alcohol abuse, and any chemical I could get into my body. I was a screwed up puppy. I just completely didn't care about anything. I even got to the point that I tried to see how much abuse the human body can takebefore it quits. It turns out that it can handle quite a bit. I existed this way for about 8 months. And thanks to some really good friends, I'm still here. You can really tell a buddy truly loves you when he locks you in his apartment, phisically keeps you there, and stays with you until you dry out. It literally took a weekend to get sober. I don't mean to quit the drugs, but it took a weekend to get it out of my system. To this day, I still call that girl "Ruiner", or she who's name cannot be mentioned. My favorite song has to be The Becoming:

the becoming

i beat my machine it's a part of me it's inside of me
i'm stuck in this dream it's changing me i am becoming
the me that you know had some second thoughts
he's covered with scabs and he is broken and sore
the me that you know doesn't come around much
that part of me isn't here anymore
all pain disappears it's the nature of my circuitry
drowns out all i hear there's no escape from this my new consciousness
that me that you know used to have feelings
but the blood has stopped pumping and he's left to decay
the me that you know is now made up of wires
and even when i'm right with you i'm so far away
i can try to get away but i've strapped myself in
i can try to scratch away the sound in my ears
i can see it killing away all my bad parts
i don't want to listen but it's all too clear

hiding backwards inside of me i feel so unafraid
annie, hold a little tighter i might just slip away

it won't give up it wants me dead
goddamn this noise inside my head

The thing is though, I wouldn't trade that experience for the world. If you have never hit rock bottom, you will never truly enjoy the little pleasures in life, or the big ones for that matter. And also, don't EVER take your friends for granted.