[M.D. Holloway]

If you hook up with a successful chick, you will eventually disappoint her. Hook up with a babe that comes from money and unless you come from much much more money you will never provide her enough.

So, the criteria is this - and she has to be at least 7 years younger than you:
1) large breasts, narrow waste, wide base - for the obvious reasons
2) minimal education - who cares about converstaion and dialogue, we have the OT.
3) meager beginnings - she will value the slightest things and hold them dear.
4) go for the deaf mutes (a mail order bride from Viet Nam or Iceland can work in place) - again, for the obvious reasons
5) AS A BONUS - A removable set of teeth

alas...too old too soon, too smart too late...