[Z-man]

My $0.42 on marriage:

1. Never forget to LOVE your wife. You may not feel like loving her all the time, but real love (agape love) is not based on your emotions. It is a love that gives without expecting, cares with abandon, and is totally selfless.

2. Do not be selfish. Focus on Mrs. notfornow, her needs, her desires.

3. LISTEN. When you are upset at each other, hear her out. Don't butt in when she's speaking. If she is rightfully mad at you, then be a man and hear her out.

4. Pray every day. My wife and I are Christians, and every morning we take a minute to pray together -- it puts us in the right frame of mind for the rest of the day. Sure, sometimes, the prayer is nothing more than "Oh Lord, help us to get through today." but it still helps set the perspective for us.

5. Learn to compromise. Sure, you want that brand new 997S. But she probably wants a new kitchen instead. It is better to meet in the middle with an older 911 and new cabinets than to fight over who gets what first.

6. Don't do a prenupt. It only sets the stage for doubt and mistrust. Manage your finances together. My take on the whole financial thing is this: if Kim (my wife) ever left me for whatever reason, it wouldn't matter to me if she took the house, and all my money as well. If Kim leaves, I've already lost that which is most precious in my life, and nothing else really matters. Be willing to put a higher value on your relationship instead of your assests -- it puts things in a better perspective.

7. Random gifts of love go a long way. Doesn't have to always be sparkly and expensive. A handful of wild-flowers snatched from the side of the road will often bring a warmer smile to a woman's face than jewlery. A "Just because..." card will make her feel like she's a queen for the day.

8. Hold hands in public. When in a mall or store, and the two of you want to look at different things, don't forget to give her a kiss before parting. A simple peck on the cheeks will put a smile in her heart. And yours.

9. NEVER complain about your wife to your friends. Just about the worst thing you can do is complain that you couldn't go somewhere because it was your wife's 'time of the month.' If she is sick or feeling ill, instead of complaining, take care of her.

10. Cook her breakfast on the weekends.

11. Don't try to solve all her problems for her. Often women just need a sounding board -- if she's had a bad day, let her 'decompress.' She's not looking for pat solutions to her problems -- she's looking for some compassion and understanding.

12. Celebrate life with your wife. Do silly things like playing tag or hide and go seek around the house in your underwear! Go to a drive in movie or a petting zoo. Go on picnics in the park. Build a snowman and have a snowball fight. Fly a kite together. Rent a row boat. Inject creativity into your relationship -- the dividends really pay off!

Sorry if I sound like a romantic sap, but the stuff I mention above have worked for me so far. I'll be married 11 years this July, and I keep falling in love with Kim more and more and more!
-Zoltan.