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Originally posted by notfarnow
Geez... entertaining but kinda looks like a website for as##oles who married b##ches.
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This website is more than likely guys who went through an extraordinarily bad divorce, are going through a divorce now or have a mate that lied to them. I am on the tail end of the initial stages of the wonderful experience of divorce.
I live in California, and if your area is a no-fault divorce zone do not discount the "test" of a pre-nup, and for anyone who says that there is no room for a pre-nup in marriage does not fully comprehend the flaws in no-fault divorce.
Divorce or Family law (or how I see it sometimes as anti-family), especially in no-fault states is brutal on honest people if the other party has secrets. The pre-nup can be viewed in a number of ways, but it is the focal point of disclosure and levels the playing field and provides insurance equally for both partners in assuring that one party is not taking the other for a ride. It can also be a test of commitment. There is no doubt that under the community property states such as California, the treatment of separate property by Family Law Courts has been cookie cutter for the past 30 years (there is however a change in the wind). If one party does not fully disclose their assets and denies the other the ability to make informed decisions as a result of the failure to disclose regarding his or her contribution to the community, the remedies available to correct a fiduciary breach are inadequate at best, very expensive and not within the status quo of current California family law. I am fully on board with either a pre-nup or at least the process of a pre-nup. This almost guarantees that both parties are clear on what they bring and what they expect from the relationship. There is a huge misconception as to the value of pre-nups that needs to be dispelled, especially for those who have assets, children and property. It is not a contingency plan for divorce, it is a disclosure document that if used as intended can set the stage for open discussions throughout the course of the marriage..
Why do I advocate this? Remember first and foremost that Pre-nups are not written in stone, there is what is called a post-nup as well, so don't discount the value of a pre-nup. Currently, as implemented by California Family Courts in dealing with separate property a party to a marriage who lies, deceives and manipulates the situation to hide and protect separate property and extort concessions from the more generous, honest and forthright partner (the virtuous partner) is rewarded for these lies. Although this is changing and breach of fiduciary responsibility is just now starting to come to the forefront, I would highly recommend a pre-nup in the interim as a viable alternative to “he- said, she-said” and to avoid misunderstandings and to be a means for an open and frank discussion of even the most sensitive issues.
How many folks go to pre-marriage counseling? I know my church required it. Just think of a pre-nup or even just the exercise of a pre-nup as part of that counseling. It is not a negative thing and it clearly has its purpose.