Quote:
Originally posted by ChrisBennet
Now if I told you the secret to a good marriage, it wouldn't be a secret now would it? 
Qualifications: Not married - but not married to the same woman for 17+ years. EDIT: Also haven't had our first argument yet.
- If you can, keep your money separate. This only works if your mate has a decent income but it removes the guilt and resentment of one mate buying toys with the joint funds.
- I don't think that you can "make" your mate happy. You can keep them happy, make them happier (at least temporarily) or make them unhappy. Happiness is an internal thing - getting married won't "fix" an unhappy person. If they aren't happy without you, they aren't going to be happy with you.
- People think that having things in common is key but it doesn't have to be. About the only thing my mate an I have in common is that we are plug compatible and we watch some of the same TV shows. She does her thing and I do mine and we get along great. Mutual respect is more important IMO. (Though I do wonder what the mailman thinks when we get mail from PETA and the NRA.)
- Remember that your mate is your partner - not your mom, your cook or your cleaning lady. She may or may not have chosen the particular role for her that you have in mind. If you shared a cabin with one of your fishing buddies for a week would you expect him to clean up after you? Would you expect him to cook for you and then do the dishes? Don't assume anything when it comes to the division of labor.
-Chris
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Respect is key. Happiness is a personal Choice. Chris, you are right you can't make them happy, but you can make them unhappy. And Also, she can make herself unhappy!
Another thing is what you do and what she does with the advice that we give each other. Listen to it, consider it and if it makes sense use it, but make sure you can explain why you did not use it if you don't. Sounds weird, but if your mate asks for your advice and than just disregards it you may want to think about what level of respect she has for you. It is just like your buddies.
Dan