Quote:
Originally posted by onewhippedpuppy
Pre-nup thoughts on my part, to me it's a preperation for a potential future divorce, and if you're already planning for divorce before you're married, it's a setup for failure. If you aren't sure if you can make it, YOU SHOULDN'T GET MARRIED! Something 50% of the country hasn't picked up on yet. I can't remember what movie it was in, but the line "where there is doubt, there is no doubt" suits marriage well.
We've only been married three years, but Andrea and I are building the life I've always dreamed about together. It's often hard, but always rewarding. We have a 15mo. old little boy, and are planning for more. Marry the right person, and live your life together with no regrets. Congrats!
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Onewhipped,
As you have stated, there is an awesome amount of great advice, but I would not discount the pre-nup, especially for second timers or those that have accumulated wealth. Although there is no doubt that marriage works and IMHO the backbone of our society, there are some dangers lurking out there that the uninitiated may not understand. Don’t discount the pre-nup or at least the topics normally contained in a pre-nup. Going over the checklist normally associated with this process, even if you don’t enter into one, is really an outline of the sensitive topics that can ruin a marriage. It gets things out in the open, it makes the couple look real hard on what they are about to embark on.
There is an old Rule of the Murph that states to prepare for the worst and expect the best and you will never be disappointed. The Pre-nup is the formal process of going through what every soon-to-be married couple should be discussing anyway. Mind you it does not have to be formal. But the topics must be addressed.
Love is an intoxicant, especially love that has a strong infatuation component. When your intoxicated you are not at your best logical self and there are dangers out there if you do not prepare yourself. There are wicked people out there who know how to manipulate the law and you to protect themselves and expose you to all the risk. It is a small percentage of the population, but they are out there.
There are a lot of folks in this thread who have good, great and exceptional marriages and they have provided a lot of superb advice. However, there are those exceptional folks that some of us run into that are not normal and if you ever run into one, you will know what I mean. I have finally gotten over the feeling like a dumb-a$$ for being sucked in and quite frankly I still strongly believe in marriage. But I am a bit cautious after this experience.