[IROC]

BTDT. My ex-wife and I have what is called "joint legal and physical custody". In other words, there really are no court-appointed rules for visitation, etc. In some ways this flexibilty is great - in other ways it is a curse. Our divorce decree does not allow either of us to move outside the county without relinquishing custody, basically.

One thing I have learned over the years (been divorced for about 9 years now) is that kids are alot smarter than adults give them credit for. They understand alot of what is going on and will *know* in the end whether they have been treated fairly or whether one parent has tried to "suck up".

My advice - keep being the same parent you've always been. Don't change anything. Be fair, be honest and be truthful and in the end your relationship with your kid(s) will be fine.

My son (from the previous marriage) actually prefers to stay with me most of the time now despite his mother's attempts to "take him away" in subtle ways.

Try as hard as you can to maintain the "amicable" part. It's tough...oh so tough...but maintaining the kind of time you have with your kid(s) is worth it.

Mike