[cantdrv55]

This just in:


LANCE ARMSTRONG SCANDAL


PARIS, France -- Lance Armstrong's record setting seventh Tour de France
victory, along with his entire Tour de France legacy, may be tarnished by
what could turn out to be one of the greatest sports scandals of all time.

Armstrong is being quizzed by French police after three banned substances
were found in his South France hotel room while on vacation after winning
the 2005 Tour de France. The three substances found were toothpaste,
deodorant, and soap which have been banned by French authorities for over
75 years. Armstrong's girlfriend and American rocker Sheryl Crowe is quoted
as saying "we use them every day in America, so we naturally thought they'd
be ok throughout Europe."

Along with these three banned substances, French authorities also found
several other interesting items that they have never seen before,
including a backbone.