[Joeaksa]

From the Wall Street Journal:

100 People Who Are Screwing Up America

Sep 13, 2005

"100 People Who Are Screwing Up America (and Al Franken is #37)," by Bernard Goldberg (New York City: Harper Collins Publishers, 2005), 305pp.

This isn't technically a book review. It can't be, given the fact that I haven't read the entire book. I only skimmed it, but that was enough to generate interest and countless belly-laughs.

Bernard Goldberg is the author of the number one New York Times bestseller Bias as well as the bestseller Arrogance. He has won eight Emmy awards during his long career, but I doubt if this book will warrant any literary prizes. But it sure is fun!

According to the dustcover, Goldberg takes dead aim at the "American Bashers (the cultural elites who look down their snobby notes at 'ordinary' Americans) . . . the Hollywood Blowhards (incredibly ditzy celebrities who think they're smart just because they're famous) . . . the TV Schlockmeisters (including the one whose show has been compared to a churning mass of maggots devouring rotten meat) . . . the Intellectual Thugs (bigwigs at some of our best colleges, whose views run the gamut from left wing to far left wing) . . . and many more."

If, like me, you don't have time to read the whole book, at least stand there in Borders or Barnes & Noble and read the Introduction. Here Goldberg eloquently articulates the problem. In brief, "a slow poison is running through the veins of this great country, and our tolerance of crap is just a small part of it" (viii). Don't say it's really nobody's fault, that this is just the way society has evolved. That's not true, says Goldberg. "There are specific individuals who, in various ways, are not only screwing things up in this country, but who often are succeeding wildly by screwing things up" (viii). This book is about those people.

Goldberg wants to be clear that he didn't take a poll to determine his list. This is his list. No two people in the country will agree with everyone on it. Surely all of us will be offended by a few of those he includes and disappointed that our favorite screw-ups are left off. Goldberg is careful not to restrict his list to the usual suspects, "the big-name windbags who, through their words and deeds, we have come to know and detest. It also exposes some of the people who operate away from the limelight and behind the curtain, but still manage to pull a lot of strings and do all sorts of harm to our culture" (x-xi). I'm glad for that, but I'll restrict myself to mentioning those that most of you will recognize.

O.K., O.K., enough introductory stuff. Get on to the list! Who's on it, and why? I obviously can't list all 100, so here are a few juicy selections and Goldberg's reasons for including them.

Number 100 may surprise you: Rick and Kathy Hilton. "Paris Hilton," says Goldberg,"has an excuse. She's a moron. But her parents can't be let off so easily. If they gave Nobel Prizes for the mom and dad who raised the most vapid, empty-headed, inane, hollow, vain, tasteless, self-centered, useless twerp in the entire country “ maybe in the entire world “ Rick and Kathy Hilton would be on their way to Stockholm to pick up the medal" (55). I'm sorry, the guy at the table next to me at Borders is wondering why I nearly fell out of my chair laughing at this one.

Number 91 is Barbra Streisand. "I love Barbra Streisand," says Goldberg. "She is, without doubt, one of the great singers of our time. And as a political commentator, she is, without doubt, one of the great singers of our time" (72).

Immediately after Barbra at Number 90 is Michael Jackson. All that Goldberg writes of him is: "If I have to explain it to you, you shouldn't be reading this book!" (74).

Goldberg has three categories of celebrities who made his list: The Dumb Celebrity (Number 85), that includes Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, and Janeane Garofalo; The Vicious Celebrity (Number 84) that includes Alec Baldwin, Sean Penn, and Janeane Garofalo; and The Dumb and Vicious Celebrity (Number 83), that includes Linda Ronstadt, Martin Sheen, and, yes again, Janeane Garofalo. I will leave it to you to read what she said that warrants inclusion in three numbers!

Here are a few more: Number 81 is Tim Robbins (of "Shawshank Redemption"), Number 80 is Kitty Kelley ("sleaze merchant extraordinaire", 94), Number 79 is Harry Belafonte, and Number 78 is Normal Mailer.

I'm really disappointed that Goldberg put Ward Churchill at 72. He's certainly deserving of a Top Ten finish in my list. Phil Donahue came in at Number 71, followed by Jimmy Swaggart at Number 70 and former Klansman David Duke at Number 66. Filmmaker Oliver Stone ("Platoon," "JFK," "Alexander") is 65. Again, I think Goldberg is being too nice by placing Howard Stern at 62. He's a candidate for Number One as far as I'm concerned. But then again, I wouldn't want to dignify his existence by giving him that much credit for anything, even if the "anything" is screwing up America.

If you think only liberals are the target of Goldberg's disdain, he does include Michael Savage at Number 61. Diane Sawyer of Good Morning Americaand Primetime Thursday comes in at 56 and Anna Nicole Smith is Number 53. Another former Klansman, Senator Robert Byrd of West Virginia, is Number 48. Babwa Wawa (remember Gilda Radner on Saturday Night Live?), no, I'm sorry, Barbara Walters comes in at 46. Ken Lay of Enron infamy and Dennis Kozlowski of Tyco infamy are Numbers 45 and 46, respectively (which is about all the respect they deserve).

Peter Singer, Princeton University philosopher, is Number 39. He is, as Goldberg notes, "the godfather of animal rights" (187). What does that mean? Simply that it's evil to kill and eat an animal but not to have sex with it. Sorry about that, but that's Singer for you.

Ah, Number 37, Al Franken. If only he had restricted himself to the role of Stewart Smalley. If you were wondering whose television show he had in mind when he described it as "a churning mass of maggots devouring rotten meat," it was Jerry Springer, Number 32, followed closely at 31 by Maury Povich. "There are some days," notes Goldberg, "”I know this will be hard to believe”when Maury Povich actually makes Jerry Springer appear decent. Watch both shows in succession [no, please don't, but I am quoting Goldberg], and you'll discover that there's not enough soap and water in all of North America to make you feel clean “ ever again" (210).

The world of athletics doesn't go without its representative: NBA "star"(?) Latrell Sprewell is Number 30. If you don't know his name, he's the humble, profoundly grateful genius who felt insulted by his contract because $7 million a year simply isn't enough "to feed his family"! Judge Roy Moore, former chief justice of the Alabama Supreme Court, is Number 21 (Goldberg chides him for "disobeying a federal judge's ruling" [238], not primarily for whether or not there is a place for the 10 Commandments in our courthouses).

As we reach the Top Twenty, several figures from the political arena appear: George Soros is Number 19 (he spent $25 million trying to defeat Bush; don't weep for him, he's worth $7 billion!), Al Gore is 18, Al Sharpton is 17, and Gore's running mate, John Edwards is Number 16. Former CBS anchor Dan Rather checks in at Number 12.

As Goldberg notes, "There's a chance that you've never heard of Noam Chomsky" (267), Number 11, whom he describes as "the most revered and influential leftist intellectual going" (267). Chomsky's hatred of America is deep and incalculable. If only his scholarship were similar. One example will suffice. The Khmer Rouge? Chomsky dismissed accounts of the Cambodian genocide under Pol Pot, asserting that at most the executions numbered in the thousands (not the 2 million out of a population of 10 million that has been carefully documented).

Let's bring this to a close. Former President Jimmy Carter is Number 6, ACLU national director Anthony Romero is Number 5, Jesse Jackson is deservedly Number 4, as are Ted Kennedy at Number 3 and Arthur Sulzberger, publisher of the New York Times at Number 2.

So who's Number 1? Michael Moore, who else? Goldberg makes no comment on this selection. Rather, we are treated to a photograph of the lovely Moore.

Well, go skim it, or read the whole thing. I'm not quite sure whether reading this book will prove to be a cause or the cure for depression. For me it was a bit of both. I laughed till it hurt. Then I cried.

Wall S Jornl\ARTICLES\Liberals\100 People Who Are Screwing Up America.doc