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An elderly Italian man who lived in the outskirts of Monte Cassino went to the local church for confession. He said, "Father, during World War II, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the enemy. So I hid her in my attic."
The priest replied, "That was a wonderful thing you did, my son, You have no need to confess that."
"It's worse than that, Father. She started to repay me with sexual favors."
The priest said, "Because of what you did, you were both in great danger. Two people together under those circumstances can be greatly tempted to act in the manner you described. But if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are forgiven."
"Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind. But I have one more question."
"And what is that?" asked the priest.
"Should I tell her the war is over?"
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A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar that way.
The man, who was a priest, said, "I am a Father."
The little boy replied, "My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that." The priest looked up from his book and answered, "I am the Father of many."
The boy said, "My Dad has four boys, four girls, and two grandchildren. He doesn't wear his collar that way."
The priest, getting impatient, said, "I am the Father of hundreds." Then he went back to reading his book.
The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then he leaned over and said, "Maybe you should wear your pants backwards instead of your collar."
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