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Top 10 things a man would do if he woke up with a vagina:
10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.
9. Squat over a hand mirror for an hour and a half.
8. See if he could really do a split.
7. Cross his legs without rearranging their crotch.
6. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes.
5. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.
4. Go to the gynecologist and ask to have the examination recorded on video.
3. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts, too.
2. Actually catch a buzz off one wine cooler.
And the #1 thing a man would do is:
1. Finally find that damn G-spot.
Top 10 things a woman would do if she woke up with a penis:
10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.
9. Get a blow job.
8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating meat.
7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at the urinal.
6. Determine why you can't hit the bowl consistently.
5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.
4. Touch/shift herself in public without thought as to how improper it may be to others.
3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks.
2. Discover the joys and challenges of boxers vs. jockeys.
And the #1 thing a woman would do is:
1. Repeat #9.
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