[aways]

Originally posted by Superman
Things you have to believe to be a Republican

MOST IMPORTANT BELIEF: Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
AT THE TIME IRAN WAS A BIGGER THREAT. WE WERE ALIES WITH THE USSR IN WWII, BUT WE DIDN'T LIKE THEM
Closely followed by:

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
CASTRO IS A THUG WHO IS A VOWED ENEMY OF THE US.
CHINA, AT LEAST PUBLICLY ISN'T

The United States should get out of the United Nations; but our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
THE US IS SIMPLY DEMONSTRATING THAT THE UN IS INEFFICTIVE AND CORRUPT.

A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
IT'S IN HER BODY, IT'S NOT HER BODY.

Jesus loves you and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
REPUBLICANS DON'T HATE HOMOSEXUALS, THEY JUST DON'T THINK IT SHOULD BE "CELEBRATED".

The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
DEMS TO BLAME HERE AS WELL.

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
NOBODY CLAIMS THAT. THERE WOULD BE LESS SEX IF IT WEREN'T ENCOURAGED.

A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies ("that's old Europe") then expect their cooperation and money.
WE DIDN'T CRITISIZE OLD EUROPE UNTIL AFTER THEY
UNDERCUT US AND STABBED US In thE BACK.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.
NOBODY SAYS PROVIDE IRAQIS WITH HEALTHCARE

Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
THESE ARE NOT REPUBLICAN POSITIONS.

A President lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A President lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
CLINTON DID LIE, THERE IS NO EVIDENCE THAT BUSH DID.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
THE PEOPLE HAVE THE RIGHT TO DECIDE ON THESE THINGS, NOT JUDGES.

The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving and military records are none of our business. Nor are Dick Cheney's task force discussions with energy industry our business either.
HILLARY'S CATTLE DEALS ARE A MATTER OF PUIBLIC RECORED JUST AS MARTHA'S....

Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
IT'S AN ILLNESS IN BOTH CASES, BUT DEALING IS NOT.

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the 1980s is irrelevant.
WHAT DID CLINTON DO IN THE 60'S? I THOUGH HE DIDN'T
BECOME A SERIAL HARRASSER UNTIL THE 70'S.

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Both are funny. I guess by these definitions, I am certainly neither a Democrat or a Republican.

How 'bout the rest of you guys. Do the beliefs above agree with yours? Just wondering.

Rather than just name call, I tried to respond briefly to
these silly accusations about Republicans. I used CAPS
to highlight my responses, not for emphasis.