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find a local FFL (probably a gun shop). Talk to James at OO. Send him money, he gets money, sends gun to your local FFL (they might have to fax him a copy of their license). Your local FFL gets the gun, you do any paperwork and pay whatever fees, and you have your gun.
9mm is cheapest other than .22LR. The nice thing about 9mm is you can get bulk reload FMJ pretty cheap, and good JHP defense rounds for "real."
There are myriad "stopping power" arguments out there. I've read a lot of them along with the primary literature. Bottom line is that the odds of you being involved in a shoot out are next to nil. But for that infintesimal chance, if you have practiced and can acquire/hit a target, it won't matter if it is 9mm or .45. Placement counts.
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