[legion]

LOOK AT YOU:
After using any of the previous ploys, point out any physical manifestations of the other person's irritation as further proof that they are wrong.
"You seem to be sweating a lot. Of course I would be too if I had to try to support your flimsy position."
"Why look, your lips are quivering. You have a hard time admitting defeat, don't you?"
SELECTIVE QUOTATION:
Use an actual, fabricated, or hypothetical statement from some universally credible source.
"What would your father say if he could hear you now?"
"As it says in the Bible: 'God helps those who help themselves'."
"If Albert Einstein were here I think he would agree with me. Didn't he once say 'If an idea does not at first seem absurd, it is probably incorrect'?"
YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT:
If proven wrong or corrected in any way that you do not like, revenge is the answer here. This can be accomplished by throwing a fit, glowering at the person with a death stare, complete withdrawal or pregnant silence, or some other form of dramatic emotional blackmail as manipulation. The idea is to train people not to correct you in the future by making them pay dearly for correcting you now. Also known as the "THAT WILL TEACH YOU" technique.
"If you are going to be that way about it, then... "
"You don't love me...(sob!)"
FAST ANSWER:
The technique here is to answer so quickly or in such detail that no one could ever doubt the response.
("Do you really think that anyone else agrees with this crazy idea?") "52.359% of Americans surveyed agreed."
LISTEN UP:
Pretend that the reason the other person isn't able to agree with you is that they are not listening, or at least not hard enough.
"If you'd just listen you would have heard me the first time when I said that..."
"Since you obviously weren't listening when I said this before, I am forced to repeat myself."
FILIBUSTER:
To take an extraordinary amount of time or go to great technical depth to wear out the other person and get time on your side. The other person is pushed to give up and agree with you rather than endure the torture of hearing you go through another sincere, long-winded answer.
"Since you are a true intellectual, I will have to give you a more comprehensive answer than most... Blah, Blah, Blah... (use WORD SALAD technique) "Now that I have answered your point, do you have any other concerns?" (repeat until the other person collapses or gives in.)



Miscellaneous Techniques

THE MACHINE GUN:
A variation of the basic Question as Opportunity ploy is to ask the other party many rapid-fire difficult or time consuming questions... more along your lines of interest - or as a delay tactic similar in effect to the NIT PICKING technique. The questions should be asked in rapid succession so that the victim has no reasonable chance to reply, and will likely forget a few if they (foolishly) take the bait. Any that are neglected can be brought up later as an example of "not being able to answer a question".
"Define truth... Define religion... Define God... Define evil... Define mind... "
THE YAWN:
With the nose tilted slightly upwards, appear to be disinterested in what the other party has to say: 1) because you "know" what they will say in advance, 2) to make the point via body language that what the other person is saying is essentially uninteresting or boring, or 3) as a bluff to see how far you can go with this rudeness before it is pointed out. Look around, nod with a patronized look on major points as if enduring an idiot, tap the fingers, roll the eyes...

THE SELF ABSORPTION SYNDROME:
A response based on the premise that everything must somehow relate to me, as I control reality, you see. If you have an opinion, this only makes sense to me if it centers in me or my reaction to it. (Mary calls this the "JUST SAYING THAT" technique.)
"You're just saying that to annoy me."
"Oh, you like to express outrageous opinions just to shock me."
"Well if that's so, how do you account for my feeling that..."
WORD PUTTY:
Claim wild elasticity in words... to shift the meaning if caught in a misrepresentation or gaff. (Named by Mary as "WORDS, WORDS, WORDS!")
"You're missing the point! You keep getting hung up on the words without seeing the meaning! Besides, that's not what *I* mean by science."

THE STRAW MAN:
Refute an argument that's truly ridiculous, with the same conclusion as your opponent's.
"People who say that are First-Amendment absolutists, but we all know there are kinds of speech that must be restricted."
(Or as C S Lewis's "Screwtape" said to a fellow demon: Convince them that since they can't believe in a horned man with a pointy tail in a red suit, therefore they cannot believe in you.)
REDEFINE TERMS:
"All men may be created equal, but women are better/worse."
"Sure, torture's wrong, but these so-called 'victims' of yours were not permanently injured."
WORD SWITCHEROO:
Describe the other person's case using slur words or other emotionally packed terms.
"I would never beat my children."

FALSE SYMPATHY:
"Don't worry, we understand that you are emotionally insecure and have a difficult time admitting you are wrong."
"You seem really upset about this issue, Bill. Is there something in your personal life you would like to talk about?"

THE HEDGE:
Use flexible words like "sometimes", "often", "perhaps", "many", "could be", "in this scenario", etc. and be as vague as possible. Then whatever turns out to be correct that someone else mentions - claim as your own position. Also known as ONE WAY OR THE OTHER or THE CHAMELEON.

WHAT'S THE POINT?:
Assume the person's input or opinion is of no consequence based on some pretext.
"Since you are always negative, we will not bother responding to your concerns."
"Ignore Joe, he is just 'like that'!"

THE GUT SHOT:
Subgroup of THE CHEAP SHOT. In response to a political, philosophical, religious, etc. statement that you do not like but cannot refute, switch gears from academic debate to personal attack
"If you approach life like that, you'll never be able to sustain a marriage."
"God, I just wonder how your kids are going turn out."

THE LAUGHING HYENA:
A variation of the REPEAT OFFENDER gambit, the idea here is just to laugh and laugh and laugh. Sure, this is rude, but laughter is involuntary so it must be the other person's fault for being so silly, right?

YOU KNOW BETTER:
A variant of I KNOW BETTER is to convey that not only do you know - deep down - that the other person is wrong, but so do they. Used to imply target is either too emotional, too biased, or too lazy to see the obvious "truth". This can be a great lead in for the I KNOW BETTER technique, as the resultant dumbfounded stare of the victom can be taken as tacit permission to tell them what you know they know.
"You should know better than that! If we did it your way..."
"If you'd just stop and think about it for a second, you'll realize what a stupid point you just made."
"It's odd you'd say that, since - surely Jim - you know better..."

RANDOM OPINION DERAILMENT:
In the middle of a conversation, preferably in a group, make an irrelevant and subjective personal announcement if you do not like the direction the dialog is going. (Dorothy calls this the UNSOLICITED ANNOUNCEMENT technique.) Similar to the LOOK AT YOU technique, only here it is LOOK AT ME.
"I'm cold. Isn't it cold right here?"
"I'm so hungry! I didn't have breakfast."

GIVE 'EM ENOUGH ROPE:
Someone is making a salient point and making it well. Ask them sympathetic questions you know they'll agree with. Little by little, twist the focus of the questions into something completely different from what they were originally saying, always making sure to allow them to do most of talking. By the time you ask them the last question, they will have slipped their unwitting little neck into the noose of words you just created for them.
[Barney is a great show for kids. I really love how he keeps the kids occupied while I start dinner] "Really? I've noticed that my niece will sit quietly for hours watching him. Your kids too?" [Oh, it's a blessing. Sometimes I think I could just leave them alone without a babysitter.] "For how long will they sit there? etc... until...."So, leaving the educational and emotional needs of your children completely in the plush hands of a purple dinosaur while you take a break from PARENTING is perfectly okay, then?"

GOOD BUDDY:
Suddenly become your opponent's closest buddy through back-slapping affectation. It works as a delaying tactic, and if done with enough charm can also allow for a complete change of topic - sort of like a PIVOT POINT that has no merit except that "we're buds" (even if, or especially if, you are not). Refer to the other person by name - very slowly - and give a knowing look, etc.
"Paul... [long silence - with a smarmy emotional look on your face - to think of an answer]"
"We've known each other a long time... Paul...... and you know that [change of topic]"

CODE PHRASES:
In polite society, we have noticed a couple of rather stark code phrases that act as euphemisms that are strikingly common in meaning and general understanding.
"BLESS HIS HEART" (OR HER): ... means "what a jerk".
"Minnie Bumpfrass called today to check up on me, bless her heart."
... and we all understand what is meant. For a flaming jerk (or worse) we add the ever latent with meaning "LITTLE", as in "...bless her little heart".
"HE MEANS WELL" (OR SHE): ...translates "avoid like the plague", as complete incompetence is likely in view.
"Minnie Bumpfrass means well, bless her little heart..."