Quote:
Originally posted by rbarton
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5 weeks, not months. What is so frustrating to me is that in the middle of January we had an mild argument that ended with my wife asking me to go to marriage counseling. I stupidly said no. Two weeks later, I found out that she was planning on leaving (after extensive communication with her best friend, who at the same time is ending her marriage). Every indication is that she started planning this after the argument 2 weeks prior. Finding out that she wanted to leave was a huge shock to my system and I immediately offered to go to counseling, or do whatever it took. She said absolutely not; it's over, and that's that.
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sorry man, but I fear the reality is that she has been unhappy for some time and either you didn't listen or missed the signs. Then again, I don't know you or her, but in my experience things don't just go poof...especially if you've been together for some time. But invariably poor communication sets up the fall.
In my case, I spent about 8 years getting really angry, so by the time it came to a head, it was over. I sent up a few warning signals over the years, but she never took them seriously. If I had put my foot down, maybe it would have turned out differently. But I didn't...didn't want to be confrontational. So instead I got more angry and resentful until I hit a wall and had to leave. And by that time I had "moved on" in other respects, and found some of what I was missing in the marriage. And by comparison, despite the good parts, it was missing parts that I could no longer live without, and she in all likelihood would not be able to provide. So I stayed away and got my own house in order. Still working on that, but it is a long process...