* Moe and Sideshow Mel are covered by dust of the Leader)
Moe: I am covered in the dust of the Leader! He favors me!
Mel: I am even dustier, dustier than thou.
(Homer gets splashed with mud)
Moe: Oh, look who the new pet is!
* Jane: Would you rather have beer, or complete and utter contentment?
Homer: What kind of beer?
* Homer: Just think. I turned to a cult for mindless happiness when I had beer all along.
* Homer: Homer no function beer well without.
* Bart: Church, cult. Cult, church. So we get bored somewhere else every Sunday.
* Homer: Marge? You're the Leader? But you don't look anything like the beans.
* Rev. Lovejoy: This so-called "new religion", is nothing more than a series of strange chants and rituals trying to claim the money of unintelligent fools. Let us say the Lord's Prayer forty times, but first, lets pass the collection plate.
(Ned walks up holding the plate, which only contains a few pennies and a paper clip)
Ned: Uh, Reverend, we're in a bit of a pickle here.
Lovejoy: Oh, uh. (gets out a bigger plate) Try the emergency plate, Ned.
Ned: I don't think that's gonna help.
(they look into the stands of the church. Only the Flanders family and Lenny are there)
* Edna: Now class, who can tell me where thunder and lightning come from?
Bart: The Leader, ma'am.
Edna: Very good, Bart. And who invented Morse code?
Bart: Oh, I should now this one! Uh, the Leader?
Edna: Correct again.
Lisa: He's wrong! You're wrong! The whole damn system is wrong! Arrgh! (kicks over desk)
Edna: What's wrong, Lisa? You use to be such a good student. Don't you want to impress your teacher and get good grades?
Lisa (giving in): Grades?
* Barney the dinosaur: We love him, he loves we, we're the Leader's family.
* Lisa: Careful, Dad. You're the highly suggestible type.
Homer: Yes, I am the highly suggestible type.
* Cletus: You are trespassin' on ma dirt-farm.
The Leader: Do you happen to need a Messiah?
Cletus: No, but I'll take those sacks of money from you.
* Ned (after the Movementarians' lawyers take Homer): You know, I pride myself on being a good host, so I'm obliged to offer you a beer. I'm so darn mad, it's going to be mostly head!
* Rev. Lovejoy (seeing Spaceship emerge from the Forbidden Barn) Oh, mercy! He's the real deal. (rips collar off and slams it to the ground).
* Lisa: It's wonderful to think for ourselves again.
Bart: You said it sister.
TV Announcer: You are watching Fox.
Simpson family: (robotically) We are watching Fox.
* Moe (after the leader is exposed): Damn! It fell apart like everything else I ever believed in! Well, I guess it's back to good ol' fashion voodoo. (gets out a Barney Gumble voodoo doll and pokes it with a mini Duff bottle)
Barney: Wow! I need a beer!
Moe: Come with me.
* Homer: Outta my way, jerkass!
