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As a guy who has been happily married for almost 19 years (my wife and I are truly best friends), my advice would be this: talk to her first. Find out what's really going on in her mind. Why is she so insecure? If you still seem to sense a deep seated need to control you, then give it up and move on.
I cannot imagine a marriage in which one or both of us tries to "control" the other. Control implies a lack of trust, which will kill a relationship every time.
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