[mudman]

Thanks to all who are posting and thanks to those who have said 'it takes balls'. Well, it is easier to 'talk' to you guys, ask for advice, and even feel comforted here than to talk to my wife or whomever. I have gone from a huge circle of 'friends' to no one. You guys represent (to some extent) a cross section of my old mind, the voices I used to hear. Even just trying to put ideas/emotions/state of mind in to words that convey the message has helped me. I really do feel like a ******* sometimes, like I just need something to blame my 'mood' on. I didn't think that there were that many who know what it is like to be here, who understand that this isn't just a bad day/week. I wish it were just a bad mood, some sunshine and fresh air would help then. But right now I can't even enjoy those simple things.
-Jeremy