livi..i spent three years with a woman i loved, just like you, but once i lost my aviation career it was never the same. her family no longer looked upon me as the 'great provider' and this extended to her friends and former in-laws who wanted to see her re-marry a doctor or lawyer, etc. (she was a widow). so she rode the fence, trying to please everybody. i wasn't welcome at her family's house the last two xmas'..i finally woke up and said, 'wtf?' i'd never had a woman and her family stare down their noses at me ever before in my life..but like you, i loved the woman and kept trying to give the benefit of the doubt. i finally had to make the tough choice to leave..fortunately, no kids involved. don't get me wrong - it's a quiet, lonely place in my house now..dating in my 40's hasn't been like it was in my 20's when it was a 'free for all lovefest'...i'm older now and my needs and wants have changed, but at least all options are available to me now. i've at least got the opportunity to meet someone special..and nobody's calling me a 'loser' for losing my career anymore. something to be said for peace of mind. i can do whatever the hell i want to now. sometimes i have to remind myself of that..it isn't always easy being alone when you've become accustomed to a partner for a long time, but another will come along. one for me, one for you, too..
ryan