[StevoRocket]

In your own words this woman is...
Selfish
Bullying
Threatening
Cruel
Controlling
Vindictive
Capable of denying access to your daughter
Determined to make your life hell

Hardly a resume for a loving wife and mother in a caring sharing relationship. Neither are these the attributes of a partner one wants to share life with after the kids have flown the nest.

Whats worse is that her attitude has started to destroy your self esteem and confidence.

We have all said it above, see a councillor if you must - but in my opinion the need to get married is for her to gain (in her distorted view of the world) more control over you and the family resources, not to start to relinquish the hold she has established.

Having thought about this and re-read the replies there is only one solution in my opinion.

Go to a solicitor and have him draw up the papers for a split of the assets of the relationship and to provide for access regimes for your daughter.

You have an opportunity to re-establish a rewarding life through that relatively simple act.

She will probably react to the serving of the papers by claiming she will change - she will not in my opinion - I think you are seeing the tip of the iceburg.

Get that professional opinion - from a lawyer and possibly your doctors opinion too - and then act.