[nostatic]

I had the same experience with friends not saying anything about my first wife (she was a cold one). That's often the way it works, and good friends often keep quiet because they figure that there must be something good there otherwise you wouldn't be in the relationship.

And just to reinforce a couple of other comments: one of THE most important things is for *you* to figure out why you chose her, and why you stuck around so long. I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but your situation says a lot about you, your past, and your personality. If you don't get to the root issues, you will just repeat this pattern with the next one (ask me how I know). This is critically important: find a good shrink and get to the very difficult and painful work of figuring out why you unconciously believe that you are not worthy of a good relationship. Our unconcious mind is incredibly powerful, and drives us to do things that we don't even realize. You would not believe the things I've sorted out over the last month...so many past decisions make sense in light of how my unconcious mind works. I though I was doing something for a particular reason, but the real drivers were totally different...and very, very sick. Time to break those cycles.