evidently i'm a little hard headed...i've hit bottom a number of times, and figure i might have a couple more left in me
Something to read if you're interested:
http://www.holisticpsychoanalysis.com/html/the_mother_s_signature.html
My g/f went to a seminar led by Bail last year and I tagged along. About halfway through the morning session I had a moment of clarity...things started to make sense. I ended up finding someone in this school of practice to work with, and it has been enlightening to say the least. God aweful work, but at least in my case, totally necessary.
And lest you think that Bail is just some pansy shrink:
http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2006/02/20060224-1.html
He told some stories at the seminar about the war...he'd never told them in public before. Absolutely harrowing stuff.