[livi]

Nothing much. While I mentally have convinced myself I need to brake loose, she has sucked me dry energy wise. Feels like I have gained a hundred pounds body weight. The more determined I get - the more terrified I feel. Agonizing over her response. Worried about my daughter.

If it were not the most stupid idea - I woud need to empty a bottle of whiskey to be able to rise to the occasion. On the other hand the very fact that I have now made up my mind makes me feel more hopeful and positive as to my future.

And that, my friends, have a lot to do with you.

Any day now. I just need to stop waiting for the "right moment". It will never come.