Sorry I missed this thread earlier Markus...
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since thinking back I would say 75% of me have wanted to leave her for the last three years. I think I just donīt have the guts. I can now recognize the coward anti aggressive wimp inside myself. I need to be thoroughly abused and trashed before I can muster enough energy to make it stop. What a tragic individual I have turned into. A true victim of myself. A genuine looser.
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There's nothing 'loser' about this kind of behavior in my book. It's called being a 'nice guy'. Some people care a lot about other people's feelings and will bend over backward to try to please others and make things work. You sound like that kind of person. That is a good thing. Other people are the opposite; aggressive and always looking for a way to dominate, even in their interpersonal relationships. I don't like those kinds of people and will not associate with them. It sounds like your current spouse is one of these. Sometimes your only defense is to not be a nice guy. It's hard, but necessary if you end up getting trampled.
It sounds to me like the question is not 'if' you'll leave, but 'when'. I agree that sooner is better. Time is a precious commodity, and it's too valuable to waste on something\someone that doesn't enrich your life. Try to imagine what you'll think looking back 5 years from now.
The daughter is the sticking point. I can't offer you any real advice there. I would hope that Swedish law would offer you some protection. As others have said, consult a lawyer to find out the specifics of what a custody decision would be based on, and act accordingly.
Best of luck and please keep us informed. I'm rootin' for you,
ianc