[livi]

Yes, Ryan. I have spoken to an attorney. The plausible scenario is that I will get to have my daughter every other Friday to Sunday. I could try to demand full time custody but its very unlikely to happen. Courts are still leaning toward the mother as primary care taker. Normally I would agree regarding pre school children.

Anyway, I am trying to acquaint myself with the notion of not being able to hold my baby during the weeks. It hurts like hell holding her in my arms, hugging her, she looking into my eyes with so much trust and vulnerability. Knowing she will not understand why Daddy suddenly left her. Not least, since her mother will be more than happy to indoctrinate her with her version. Makes me feel that I perhaps ought to sacrifice my life for hers - even though I know thats a dead end.

Life is not supposed to be like this. Is it ?