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A second vote for Pema Chodron - clear thinking which is what one needs at all times, but one rarely does. A crisis like this is the opportunity to reassess and become a clear thinker, let go of all traps etc. Otherwise, it's a pattern that will repeat.
It helped move me out of a marriage that was comprable to your situation, and then into a wonderful marriage of 8 years now.
The past seems to be something that happened to someone else.
Take a look at what Pema Chodron writes, it's even online, and acessible (ie not esoteric cloudy writing, just clear clear clear).
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79 sc - Minerva Blue
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