Quote:
Originally posted by artplumber
Mike,
We had that award in Speech - The Silver Throat Award. "The ability to say the most about the nothing"
Join the club!
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I have various magazine companies calling me up almost everyday to keep me on the subscription list. It was a pain in the arse until I started to have some fun with it. It kills about 5 minutes of my day but provides such great humor that I now look forward to them calling. The conversation goes something like this:
Me: "Hello, Mike H here"
Them: pause pause pause "Yes, may I speak to Mr. Michael H.......?
Me: "Mr. H....... just staepped out I'm one of his guys helping out ya he hired me straight up and just out of the joint and has given me a great chance to get my life back in order the job is a little boring and I really don't know why he has me counting his paper clips and thumbtacks everyday but I guess it is important and who am I to say anything I'm just glad he gave me a job cuz I was in the joint for a time and it was really tough ya know being i nthe joint cuz they really don't give you any sort of freedom and the food is OK I guess well it's better than nothing I suppose but still I think I could be better but Mr H. gave me this job see and I really think I prefer counting the paper clips over the thumbtacks cuz those tacks can bite ya and thos paperclips are easy and boy don;t I wish I was the guy that invented those cuz he must be rolling in the money huh? everybody uses'm and there must be this huge factory someplace just pumping out a zillion of these things then again I gueass everybody has them in their desk but I don't really think I have actually ever seen them as much as say staples now staples are all over and boy wouldn't I like to be the guy that invented staples and I guess if i was that guy I still would have got'n hook'd on the pipe cuz that pipe is really good have you ever tried the pip/ I tell ya what I grabs on and won't let go and even in the joint a guy like me can get some rock and we call it rock cuz it looks kinda like a rock well not like a peice of granite or anything like that but I really don't know anyother types of rocks no thats not true either cuz I guess marble is a rock right, not the round things that kids used to play with and isn't that funny how kids don't play with marbles anymore cuz that have all these video games that are preparing them to be jet fighter pilots for when the alians come to get our water and I'm not talking about the mexicans coming over the border but thats bad too cuz they work for nothing and take or jobs that we should get paid good money for but I did know a bunch of them in the joint and they were really nice guys but they didn't speak good english if at all not that I speak good english or anything like that then again how good do you have to speak if you only have to count paperclips all dayy long well I also count thumbtacks as well but I really don't like those as much....hello....hello?
Works like a deadass charm and I only come up for air about once every 80 seconds or so. Gives me a smile for several hours afterward!